Put You At the Top Of Your List!
Who else is guilty of "biting off more than they can chew"? I'm sooooo guilty of that!!! Why do I do it? I know why, because I think I am wonder woman, or maybe it's just because i'm a woman in general and that's just what we all do?
I've made great strides so far in 2018 learning to say no, putting myself first, following my dreams after many years of second guessing myself. I've taken a huge leap of faith starting this blog and learning the social media ropes that go along with it. And maybe I just need to find my groove or maybe, just maybe i'm expecting too much of myself.
I have struggled with insomnia for years and I honestly thought I had it conquered for a few months last fall. But now it is back tenfold. This week, while reflecting on how things have gotten to this point in my "new year, new me" life, i've figured out it's a pattern. When I have too much on my mind or too much on my plate, I don't sleep, instead I lay in bed and make lists and think about all the things i'm never going to be able to accomplish the next day. It's vicious cycle that i'm sure many of you can relate to.
I'll be the first to admit i'm a Type A personality, maybe a little like a sheep dog, i like to be in control of things, especially my "herd". This of course explains why my Herd all come to me with their "stuff", expecting me to figure out, sort out, organize, schedule, etc. And why shouldn't they dump it on me? I've taken care of things their entire lives, I have no one to blame but myself. HOWEVER, I have also taught them all to be independent so they don't REALLY need me to intervene, it's just EASIER to try to reel me in, then they don't have to do it themselves. What clever humans i've raised.
And it's not just my kids and family, it extends beyond them. I love to help people whenever I can, it's my nature. Sadly there will always be some people who take advantage of this, users and abusers, i've finally learned to spot them a mile away. I'm onto them. I don't do things because I expect something in return, ever. But we all like to feel appreciated and it doesn't take much to show someone how grateful you are to them. A kind word is all it takes, no grand gestures needed, maybe return the favour, reciprocate every now and then. Sadly there are people who just take and take and take and never give anything in return. Giving is the best part in my opinion. Stay away from the takers, they don't deserve us.
I know it can be hard to find balance when it comes to your time and how valuable it is, I always struggle with this. I genuinely love giving back, I will always volunteer, help and give back to our community and anyone who has done the same for me and my family. I love people who are genuine, I can spot them a mile away, we tend to stick together. I love to have stuff to do, to keep my mind busy because if you've been following my journey you know I'm not working outside the home for health reasons. That doesn't mean I can just sit and let my brain go to mush....can it? Maybe for a day or two? Netflix binge?
I have learned that it most definitely is a constant struggle, as a woman/wife/mother/daughter to put yourself first. There are always going to be people who criticize you and judge you, people who try to bring you down with their negativity and jealousy (of what i'm not sure but that's a whole other post for another day). It's hard to let things just roll off your back when people can be mean-spirited. But i'm holding strong, 2018 has been my year and i'm not going to get blindsided by anyone or anything thing. I'm staying on track, i'm keeping the faith and i'm being accountable to myself and all of you.
So to all you other sheep dogs out there, remember to put yourself first as often as you can and keep yourself at the top of your own list. Learn to say no more often and yes to the things that feel right and make you happy. And don't for one minute, let someone bring you down.
We only get this one life so live it to the fullest, follow your dreams, love, be happy, and always always keep it real. If I can do it, so can all of you.
PS...if have time leave me a comment and let me know what you are doing to put yourself at the top of your list :)